Writing personal blog posts are the hardest thing for me. I am much happier just talking about somewhere that I have been or a product that I have tried. As a result I sat in front of my laptop for two hours last night before admitting defeat and taking myself off to bed. Admittedly I had got sidetracked looking at horse boxes converted into mobile bars and learning that Nicolas Cage wasted over $200,000 on a stolen dinosaur skull. Without getting out my metaphorical trumpet I just want to add at this point that pub quizzes are my jam because I replace working with random fact finding almost every time I sit down to do anything.
Popping Nicolas Cage to one side, I wanted to talk about insecurities. My insecurities to be exact. I think like with most people, I have this need to be liked. Where I am slightly different and a little bit more unhinged is that I struggle to believe many people like me at all. I don’t know if thats a defence mechanism. Putting up a wall to spare me from rejection perhaps. This belief has had such a negative effect on me and potentially is why I am such an introvert, much happier around people I have known for a long time.
Earlier this year, and I have mentioned this before, I spoke to a fellow instagrammer that told me she is trying to say ‘yes’ more for a whole year to see the difference it has to her life. I honestly have found this to be the most inspirational idea. Slightly tamer than the Jim Carey film Yes Man I have also been taking on this approach to see if it can pull me out of my comfort zone.
It started with just small things like saying yes to working with brands on content I would have normally run a mile from. (Im made some video content for a dishwasher brand) It then lead me to do my first event with Kate which was pretty daunting. (You can read about it here) More noticeably and more importantly it has given me the courage to be more social and in turn have a little more confidence in myself.
On the whole I am happy in my own skin, I would say about 70% of the time I’m just plodding along without a care in the world. The remaining time I am struggling with some anxiety and imposter syndrome but then aren’t we all.
I know that I will always have insecurities with myself and whether people like me. I guess having such a spikey personality means I am aware that I am not everyones cup of tea. (Milk and two sugars if you’re asking) I am surprised that trying to say yes to opportunities would have so many positive effects. Its been such a fun few months that I feel like I could be a little braver with my saying yes. Let see where this journey takes me! (Hopefully not prison)