Writing personal blog posts are the hardest thing for me. I am much happier just talking about somewhere that I have been or a product that I have tried. As a result I sat in front of my laptop for two hours last night before admitting defeat and taking myself off to bed. Admittedly I had got sidetracked looking at horse boxes converted into mobile bars and learning that Nicolas Cage wasted over $200,000 on a stolen dinosaur skull. Without getting out my metaphorical trumpet I just want to add at this point that pub quizzes are my jam because I replace working with random fact finding almost every time I sit down to do anything.
Popping Nicolas Cage to one side, I wanted to talk about insecurities. My insecurities to be exact. I think like with most people, I have this need to be liked. Where I am slightly different and a little bit more unhinged is that I struggle to believe many people like me at all. I don’t know if thats a defence mechanism. Putting up a wall to spare me from rejection perhaps. This belief has had such a negative effect on me and potentially is why I am such an introvert, much happier around people I have known for a long time.
Earlier this year, and I have mentioned this before, I spoke to a fellow instagrammer that told me she is trying to say ‘yes’ more for a whole year to see the difference it has to her life. I honestly have found this to be the most inspirational idea. Slightly tamer than the Jim Carey film Yes Man I have also been taking on this approach to see if it can pull me out of my comfort zone.
It started with just small things like saying yes to working with brands on content I would have normally run a mile from. (Im made some video content for a dishwasher brand) It then lead me to do my first event with Kate which was pretty daunting. (You can read about it here) More noticeably and more importantly it has given me the courage to be more social and in turn have a little more confidence in myself.
On the whole I am happy in my own skin, I would say about 70% of the time I’m just plodding along without a care in the world. The remaining time I am struggling with some anxiety and imposter syndrome but then aren’t we all.
I know that I will always have insecurities with myself and whether people like me. I guess having such a spikey personality means I am aware that I am not everyones cup of tea. (Milk and two sugars if you’re asking) I am surprised that trying to say yes to opportunities would have so many positive effects. Its been such a fun few months that I feel like I could be a little braver with my saying yes. Let see where this journey takes me! (Hopefully not prison)
Cara, you are so incredibly likeable. I met you and felt like I instantly wanted to make you my friend. I totally get where you’re coming from though. When I meet new people, I’m always on the look out for signals that tell me they don’t like me. It’s like I meet every new person with the expectation that they will obviously hate me. It makes making new friends a bit tricky xx
Ah thanks Kerry, I felt the same about you! It does make making friends tricky and even when I think they might be my friend I start to over analyse little things 🙄
I been following your Instagram and blogs etc and I think your lovely and a very happy outgoing likeable person, I know how you feel I don’t think people like me or get me. It would be lovely to hopefully one day meet you. I find making new friend very daunting thing with 3 children it’s hard to get out and meet people and socials one day I will pluck up the courage and go to a event you and Kate do.
You should definitely come to an event or head along to one of Kates Push It walks around Pitville park. I made friends doing that too!
I actually saw this the other day I didn’t realise anyone could go.. God I would be stepping out of my comfort zone 😁 Scares me haha!
I love this post and I’m not one to normally comment on blog posts so there! I think in many ways I can relate to it. I’m always wondering what people think of me and want people to like me. I’m not overly comfortable in social situations where I don’t know people (unless there is alcohol involved)! I think you are amazing! I’ll admit I wasn’t sure at first – I just don’t think I ‘got you’ but I think posts like this just prove we’re all human and we all have insecurities. Thanks for sharing! Xx
Thanks Sadie, I’ve had lots of messages about this post and its made me realise lots of people feel the same!
Looove the plants blog just brilliant 👌
I love watching your Instagram and reading your blogs, I like that your ‘real’ and honest!
I have a complex about people judging me and laughing at my behind my back. It means I am terrible at taking compliments as I assume they are insincere, and people think I am this unphased, strong person.
I have decided to blog my ‘career break’ where I will be travelling as a step out of my comfort zone!
Amazing, what is the name of your blog and ill have a look!
Cara .. I find you so likeable, witty, funny and also quirky, please don’t take offence at the last one. But most of all I admire your downright honesty about everything .. especially parenthood. If only Instagram was around 23yrs ago, my three are all grown up.
You have fab fashion sense and style.
I love looking at your Instagram for inspiration!
Keep doing what you’re doing. X
Denise (aka dinnyoh.. the person who’s having an affair with your chair)
Haha Denise totally laughed out loud at the chair comment! And thank you for being so lovely x
Can totally sympathise with this post, I’m constantly torn between wanting to be liked and being a free spirt who wants to go my own way and dosnt give a f**k!
I always thought I’d loose these insecurities as I got older but it turns out, no!
I just try and be nice and positive but it can be hard when your defence mechanism automatically goes up!
Great post, keep up the good work X
Thanks Ellie x
I can totally relate to what your saying. As recently I’ve been posting more about my eating disorder after posting a new picture and post I get anxiety pretty much straight away hoping that people won’t judge me and friends will unfollow me.
Sometimes it’s actually quite liberating to come out of your comfort zone and I’m starting to get used to it. Carry on doing what your doing as I love your posts they are so honest and make my day.
Thank you. I think being on social media does make me worry what people will think even more than meeting people in real life. its funny isn’t it!
I totally get this. When I meet new people I think I’m ok at the time then I analyse every word that I said or they said afterwards and kick myself for not saying something or saying too much or saying something stupid. And wind up feeling like I made a total dick of myself and they just hate me! I’ve been told the key is to stop caring so much about what people think…but that’s hard!
I definitely go home and replay conversations in my head. Im not sure its healthy!
I like the idea of saying yes more and have also tried to adopt this way of thinking. So far it’s going great but it is scary stepping out of my comfort zone.
I think you are well liked because of how honest you are, people can relate. And the haters, well, they are just jealous.
Thanks Natalie x
I love the personal blog posts. They’re awesome. Keep doing them and being you.
P.s. I also love the fashion ones, but they hurt my bank account!
Thanks Mel, I should write more personal ones but I’m nervous about it sometimes!
Cara, I love your sense of humour, and your quick wit. Some may not understand your sarcastic humour but I totally get it. I think you’re a lovely lady with a good heart, but it’s good to know underneath that humour you’ve got real insecurities too. I think we all do – but rock it girl 🙂
Hey Cara, I follow you on Instagram and I am a big fan, so perhaps I am a little biased when I say – I think you’re bloody wonderful. You’re a breath of fresh air, you’re beautiful and hilarious to boot! You come across as very likeable and someone I would definitely be drawn to in real life. I think you hit the nail on the head with this post, I definitely analyse myself and how I come across when I meet people and I’m sure most people would say the same. Sometimes it’s enough to make me want to avoid certain social situations. Having said that, getting out of your comfort zone is brilliant and liberating and I always feel better for it. It feels so good to know others can feel like this too. Well done on your Yes’s – may they continue to bring you lots happiness and opportunities, and thank you for the daily lols – you rock, chick xxxx
Every time I ever read any of your blog posts or insta posts with any mention of insecurities I think you must be cray-cray! Because I think you’re the ruddy bees knees, the cats pajayjays, and any other complementary animal and related body part or item of clothing of a similar ilk.
But you saying you’re just as insecure about yourself as the rest of us is what makes you human, and a ruddy lovely, approachable and likeable one at that.
Keep being you – you’re the only one that can, everyone else is already taken 💖
Love this Cara!
Have just come back and read it for the third time (but not commented before because… total insecurities over here as well!!!) … I love your blog posts and your IG stories always make me smile. I think that we all have that need to feel liked its totally normal! Keep doing what you’re doing and hold one sugar for my tea 😉
Ah thank you Bridget!