I want to talk about body positivity. Purely from my own perspective you understand.
I have always struggled with body issues. Let me start from the beginning. When I was younger I had a year long spell with what I would describe as ‘the edge of an eating disorder’. Polished off nicely by being weighed in a hospital gown and having to convince my consultant that being admitted was not necessary. I wasn’t admitted and it was the bloody shock that encouraged me to eat again. I weighed 7 stone 10lbs and aspired to be Nicole Richie at her slightest. I wore red bracelets to show I was proana. (Pro Anorexia) It was the darkest, most indulgent place I have ever been. I would eat below 500 calories a day and do two hours cardio daily. Forcing myself to go to sleep at 7pm to avoid eating.
Its hard to look back at that time and explain to you the mindset that I was in. It just felt great to see the number on the scale fall yet everytime I looked in the mirror I didn’t see any improvement.
Zoom forward 15 years and everywhere you look people are talking about body positivity. Having never had a singe day when I have been able to look in the mirror and like what I see I cannot applaud this enough. If only this had of been what was in all the magazines when I was younger instead of relentless images of emaciated Nicole and Linsey Lohan. I’m sure things would have been so different for me.
However I do feel like its not too late. I’m not happy with my body sure but I am able to accept it now. That makes me feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I no longer put unneccesary pressure on myself. This is definitely thanks to bloggers such as Alison Perry and Natalie from Style Me Sunday who have been promoting body positivity so brilliantly on their Instagram and blogs. I want to finally get to a place where I don’t worry about what other people think of my wobbly bits, my wonky C-section scar and tiger stripes on my thighs. This seems like the hardest obstacle to overcome. More so because I have a large family holiday coming up soon and it will be the first time I will have wore a bikini outside of my back garden!
I was sceptical when body positivity was buzzing around last year as it seemed to be curvier woman sure, but still a completely unattainable figure. It was just setting a new ideal which ultimately would still leave people feeling unhappy. Im so pleased it has started to turn around and so much diversity is being promoted now. I hope this pushes forwards at the same speed it has been going. I really do feel its time we gave ourselves a break and some self love.
* I just want to add that being body positive doesn’t have anything to do with size or weight. It is about loving your body whether you have lumps and bumps or washboard abs. Its looking in the mirror and feeling grateful for what you have.