‘What have you done today?’ Is it me or is that just the way to start an argument? Since starting blogging full time in January I have been asking myself that question daily. Have I been productive enough? Am I managing my time between work and being a mum/wife/friend correctly? The answer is always no.
Putting aside the element of only being able to list a handful of achievements each day also comes with having to tell people what I have actually been up to. You know those days where you break all the petals off a flower, stand on a chair precariously in the brightest corner of your bathroom to take an arty picture to represent love? Yeah well those days don’t sound productive do they. Calling those things work sounds nuts too and its rubbing off on me. I am becoming more introvert and more eccentric by the day. Well by that I mean I wore sunglasses on a cloudy day last week.
I sometimes imagine what my careers teacher would say if I told her how I made money now. How I actually get to call taking pictures my job despite not being a professional photographer. How I basically beat the system. I didn’t train for the job I have. I learnt everything through observation and youtube videos, through making friends and asking questions and I actually love what I do.
Why is the focus always on being so busy? Great days don’t have to be the most productive ones and having to justify what you have been doing to other people drives me mad. Especially to people who just don’t get social media. The non bloggers, non Instagram addicts, living in the real world people. I am getting used to the looks from strangers now. Yes its odd that I’m photographing my feet when I have a perfectly instagrammable child stood next to me and yes I am out here with just my tripod because I don’t have a very helpful Instagram husband. Do you know what, that might even be me fake laughing with no one around for a picture. Oh the glamour. You just can’t let other peoples lack of understanding hold you back. They may laugh, they may even tell someone you’re a twat but I do the same to joggers who swing their arms as they run so I guess its karma.
Truth is I have definitely been slacking off recently. I have lost my blogging mojo. I have let insecurities sneak back in and maybe just maybe let comparison be the thief of joy. I’m pulling my metaphorical socks up now however and trying to put myself back out there again. That way I can feel like I have been busy enough and stop snapping at my husband when he asks ‘what have you done today?’.