Blogging Update

At the start of the year I made the decision to stop working night shifts and concentrate on my blog. I was nervous about giving up a guaranteed income and making the leap into this highly saturated competitive industry. Even more nervous about the element of being self employed.

The most joyless part of the process has been that I am absolutely useless when it comes to computers and it has taken me a very long time to understand and learn how to use blogging platforms. I am not very good at asking for help and I would rather struggle and read endless ‘how to guides’ until I finally work it out for myself. The information was always there but it just never seemed to go in. Computers and technology are just so far from where my skills lie. I just want to make things look pretty and photograph them but that alone doesn’t pay the bills.

Coat Laura Ashley Blouse Laura Ashley Jeans Newlook Bag Mulberry Alexa

The last two months have been very experimental and definitely a learning process for me. Both in terms of how the hell to do things and also what feels right and what really doesn’t. I have gone from one week not posting anything on the blog at all to the next week posting everyday.

I started my blog with the intention of being a parenting blogger. This was because back in 2014 when I first had the blog, being a mother seemed like my only dimension. I have since then developed some self confidence and stopped being so bloody tough on myself. I am flawed but I believe I try to be the best that I can be. (C-section pouch to boot). This is why you may have notice a little toe dipping into fashion blogging.

These last two months have changed me. I am now in control of my own workload. Its possible for me to earn money doing all the things that I love and most importantly I am able to be there 100% for my children. Not to mention all the amazing people I have met. Dream job right? Absolutely. Don’t be fooled though there are many negatives that you don’t see behind closed doors.

Bloggers are often misunderstood. I am always honest about when I have been gifted items but I get that it can come across like I have a crazy spending habit. I mean how many candles can one girl need right? Don’t answer that question, I don’t think I can bear to hear the answer. This has triggered some extremely abusive trolling recently. I spent a day crying and toying with whether I should address it or not and whether ultimately do I have the backbone to be able to cope with this kind of treatment.

I don’t want to dwell on it. What I decided was that I am now going to have a blanket rule. If you disagree with me thats fine and I love to hear your thoughts, Im so open to know what other people think. However if you are just here to insult me I will just delete your comment and not give it a second thought. I don’t want to have to talk about trolling again. I don’t believe that bloggers should have to tolerate it as part and parcel of the job.

I am so grateful for everyone that has taken the time to come and have a look at my blog and even more so for all the amazing comments. You guys have helped me more than you will ever know. I now don’t have to do a job that I absolutely hated and was making me ill. I am still finding my feet but at least I know what a widget even is now! Thank you google for always having my back.

Cara.

(Photographs by Katrina)

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31 Comments

  1. Amy
    March 5, 2017 / 7:58 pm

    Trolling is so awful & that type of bullying, or any kind for that matter shouldn’t be accepted as part and parcel of any job. i think you are right to acknowledge the trolls to the extent you have here – in that they can do one and you’ll delete any fitore ones! They don’t deserve anymore of your time. Most of it stems from jealously. I love your blogs, insightful into real mum life and how we try to juggle it all… and find ourselves again! X

    • Cara
      March 5, 2017 / 8:04 pm

      Thank you so much Amy. I agree in no job should it be tolerated!

  2. March 5, 2017 / 8:11 pm

    I love reading your blog and think it’s great your children get to be so involved and sometimes aid your inspiration. I have a lot of friends that are new mums and it’s good that there is media out there to shout about the not so good moments as well as the treasures. X

    • Cara
      March 5, 2017 / 8:12 pm

      Thank you Ashleigh, I definitely need to see other people having a terrible toddler day from time to time to make me feel normal! x

  3. Lorraine Smith
    March 5, 2017 / 8:18 pm

    Love your blog. All the comments from the troll say is something about them. Not you. Enjoy your job and your boys. Keep up the good work. X

    • Cara
      March 5, 2017 / 8:29 pm

      Thank you x

  4. March 5, 2017 / 8:21 pm

    Trolls are workplace bullies and definitely shouldn’t be put up with. I really love your blogging style, your posts are really honest. I favourited the one you wrote about your job- it summed up perfectly how I feel about mine! I am on mat leave at the moment and the thought of going back is grim. I’ve started a blog to try and find some people with common interests and as a creative outlet. I also have two boys and am finding it enjoyable to write about make up and clothes as I’m surrounded by cars and dinosaurs… it feels good to make time for the things I am interested in too.

  5. Denise
    March 5, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    Sorry to hear about the trolling, it’s not nice!
    I absolutely love your blog, most of all your honesty in writing. And hey a girl can never have too many candles, omg I’m like the worse for being a candle lover 😀
    Keep up the good work, I think you’re fabulous xo

  6. March 5, 2017 / 8:46 pm

    Trolls are just workplace bullies. Definitely best to delete their comments. I love your blog, it’s honest. I am pleased you have taken it up full time. I read your post on your job- it’s the exact way I feel about mine! I am on mat leave at the moment and desperate not to have to return to my old job. I’ve started a blog even though I also struggling with the technicalities and hope to find some likeminded people. I have two boys as well, the house is full of cars and dinosaurs and while that’s great fun it’s nice to have a creative outlet where I can talk about other things I am interested in! You’re definitely right about motherhood not being your only dimension.

  7. March 5, 2017 / 9:50 pm

    No excuse for trolling and you are absolutely right to delete comments. You’re doing great and I am personally all over the fashion blogging. Who knew you could buy somewhere other than Asos? 😂

    • Cara
      March 6, 2017 / 5:58 pm

      Hahaha I normally just buy everything from Asos but recently M&S are nailing it!

  8. Jenna
    March 6, 2017 / 10:24 am

    Love your blog! I actually stumbled across your Instagram account due to the lovely Wilf – I have two dachshunds & therefore a lover of all long & low dogs! 🙂 I m now 5 months pregnant with my first baby & in the middle of gutting & refurbing our house – great timing, I know!! I find all your beauty, fashion, home & parenting blog posts so useful – I’m not your typical ‘mumsy-mum’ so it’s a relief to find someone out there that isn’t too!
    Keep up your amazing work – you’re doing a fab job! xx

    P.S If you also like stalking long & low dogs, my Insta is two.sausages.and.a.baby 🙂

    • Cara
      March 6, 2017 / 10:38 am

      Aw thank you! It was between a sausage dog and a basset when we got Wilf. Just the cutest breeds!

      • Jenna
        March 7, 2017 / 9:32 am

        Aren’t they just! 🙂

  9. March 6, 2017 / 11:59 am

    Hi Cara

    I’m glad you have posted this as I just wanted to say that I love the look of your blog (I’m a graphic designer who is not at all web savvy) and your blog is really nice and clean with great imagery and awesome font choices . It’s good inspiration for my own site which I am currently clunking my way through building at the moment.

    Aside from the look, I love reading your blog posts and really like your style and honesty about parenting. You make me LOL on a regular basis and your Instagram account is lovely too. I am a Mum to a 2 year old boy, stuck in an office to pay the bills and dreaming of making my little design business, my ‘actual job’.
    I have to fit my design work around being a Mum, the day job, housework, cooking and other boring tasks (as we all do!) and so at the end of the day I’m too knackered to do anything creative so when I look through my Instagram account, it is refreshing to see your posts, full of interior design, fashion, accessories and kids stuff. I love looking at all the pretty things you either buy or get gifted and it gives me a kick up the a*se to actually get on and decorate our magnolia-tastic house, buy some nice new clothes for Spring, work on my confidence and generally feel good about myself so thanks for the inspiration 🙂

    • Cara
      March 6, 2017 / 12:01 pm

      Aw Katie, thank you so so much! There are joggers days over here so don’t believe the house is always as tidy! Taking the leap is scary but I’m sure when you do it’ll be fantastic

  10. Emma
    March 6, 2017 / 1:50 pm

    I love your blog Cara and smile every time I see a new post. Online bullying by trolling is disgusting and should not be tolerated – I think people are more sphiteful when they can hide anonymously behind a screen. I’m so sorry that these people have been upsetting you but really good on you for addressing the issue head on. Keep doing what you’re doing as the blog is fab and I’m loving the fashion and shopping posts – I follow you as a new mum but these new posts make me feel a bit like me again. Thank you and much love. Xx

    • Cara
      March 6, 2017 / 5:59 pm

      Hahaha I normally just buy everything from Asos but recently M&S are nailing it!

  11. Redheadhealth - Natali
    March 6, 2017 / 2:54 pm

    You are my guilty pleasure. I am alot older than you but can still relate – 46! Its lovely to see your progress with all of this and of course love reading your blog and checking out your IG. I am even going to make some daring for me fashion buys based on your wish lists. Thank you and keep going. Fuck those wankers who only have time to be jealous and are clearly not happy. And btw, who cares what you spend, its your life. xxxxxx

    • Cara
      March 6, 2017 / 3:05 pm

      Thank you so much! Indeed nothing haunts us like the things we didn’t buy!

    • siobhan
      March 6, 2017 / 5:22 pm

      New acronym there – FTW. Love it!

  12. March 6, 2017 / 3:25 pm

    Trolls are such an awful part of blogging, especially in YouTube. They think they have the right to completely tear into someone who they have never met – would they do this IRL?! I would say 99.9% of them wouldn’t – some of the things I have seen written on people’s videos are horrific and they make me concerned for the writer’s mental state. If you don’t like something, move on and read/watch something you do like…I cannot understand why people choose to write such terrible things. Well done on taking the decision to delete and move on – it can really affect people and that makes me feel very sad. Keep doing what you’re doing – we all love you within my blogging circle and love this new direction! xx

    • Cara
      March 6, 2017 / 6:00 pm

      It is hard to ignore and its a shame it happens but there are far more lovely comments than horrible ones so Im holding on to that!

  13. March 6, 2017 / 3:58 pm

    Love your blog, so sorry you have been having some issues with trolls 🙁

    Rachael xx.
    theteacozykitchen.blogspot.co.uk

  14. March 6, 2017 / 4:42 pm

    Hi Cara
    I absolutely love your instastories and this is your first blog post I’ve read. I think you’re a natural at it. So chatty and honest. Trolling is probably done by jealous people who have nothing better to do than take down others and use fake profiles to do so. Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself, I’ll be scouring your blog regularly. Rachel x

    • Cara
      March 6, 2017 / 6:01 pm

      Ah Rachel, welcome then! Thank you so much for your lovely comment xx

  15. Laura
    March 6, 2017 / 7:35 pm

    Totally horrified by the tone of the comments in the insta stories. I cannot believ a stranger would say such things. It’s the worst abusive message I’ve seen on here. Shame on them. It’s ok to have an opinion but that’s just plain personal. If you don’t like someone, just unfollow them. This person clearly has followed for awhile which is strange. What they have to say, says far more about them than it does about you. I would actually block such a person on principle. I teach my children if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. When did that go out the window for adults. X

  16. Claire Smith
    March 6, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    I adore reading your blog and have just sat down with some chocolate to catch up, I get married this year and then hopefully the plan will be to start a family. I find your blog a truthful insight of what is to come that doesn’t gloss over the tricky parts of becoming a parent or a wife. Ignore the haters, there are always people out there that feel bashing someone else is acceptable. Much love x

  17. cgordon
    March 6, 2017 / 8:31 pm

    Heyy!! Great to address this topic and happy to see that you’re gaining confidence, that you’ve made the right career/life decision- go for it, not everyone is brave enough to take the leap and I applause you for this.
    Some feedback, I have followed you for agessss (creepy right?!), like pre current house, and I’ve loved your posts, and honesty. But I’ve nearly unfollowed you recently because I’ve seen lots of ads. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. BUT bare with me. I AM getting used to your new style too…i need to remember that you’re making a living from insta. I love the old you and I’m liking and will surely love the new evolving and SO damn fashionable you too! Some trolls don’t like change, some are just c***s, ignore them. Stick with it…xxx

  18. Laus05
    March 6, 2017 / 9:12 pm

    I stumbled across your posts a while ago and love those tiny tiles that show a snippet of your life, your so honest and funny with it and actually I think it’s pretty brave! I instantly (excuse the pun!) loved seeing your posts appear in my feed!

    I’ve now signed up to your blog (perhaps I’m turning into a stalker?) and think it’s amazing that you decided to take the “plunge” into the unknown and do something for you and have enjoyed reading them – including this one.

    Its pretty shit (you swear right?!) that you’ve had to deal with nasties but it’s so not worth the tears or stress – clearly some people have nothing better to do other than criticise.

    Keep doing what your doing because for “regular” people like me, it’s nice to know that someone else doesn’t always have their shit together all of the time and that it’s actually OK! ☺

    xx

  19. Laura
    March 7, 2017 / 10:15 pm

    I found your blog from finding you on Instagram, I absolutely love reading your posts and it’s lovely to see someone who is so honest and open about so many aspects in life.

    Laura x

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