Annoying, Sticky And Always There

My shit is not together. My home life/ work life balance is an absolute farce. I haven’t picked up the dog poos in the garden for three days. (Wilf does six a day, Id love to say ‘you do the maths’ but its a pretty simple sum.) The reason behind it all has sneaked upon me. People talk about the terrible twos and threenagers but they should be naming the phase during parenting where your kids develop personalities. This is taking its toll more than the sleepless nights of a newborn. There is no way these boys would be my friends.

I know that they are CHILDREN but sometimes I am utterly blown away by the crap they do. Harbor thinks its hilarious to smack himself in the head. Then gets upset that it hurts. It leaves me speechless. Do I comfort him for the pain he is in or laugh at him because seriously YOU JUST SMACKED YOUR OWN FACE.

And the singing of one word over and over, while throwing his head from side to side should be used as a method of torture during interrogation. The only way I have found to cope with it is to look at him blankly until I hope part of him thinks ‘yeah I’m being an utter dick’. Ive no real way of knowing if those thoughts go through his head but my face normally gets the shit to stop. (Its my super power)

Dont even get me started on Sonny. He has to correct everything I say, even to give the same answer. ‘Would you like a cheese sandwich?’ ‘No I want a CHEESE sandwich’ each time this happens I physically feel part of my soul die. He also loves to ask the questions I cant answer, that even google and Dr Dre cant answer. Such as ‘Whats that table doing?’

Why are children so annoying, sticky and always there? They seem to have a tracking device on you so no matter where you are in the house they find you and then start with the questions. This device obviously needs some sort of wifi connection because as soon as you are in the pasta aisle of Asda, poof they’re gone.

Heaven forbid that you have more than one child. Now I find myself having to talk down a three year old who has his older brother in a head lock because he didn’t believe that he was invisible. They want everything the same but then argue over which identical toy belongs to who. The screeching, the whinging and the fighting chip chip chips away at your will to live. I have actually found myself saying ‘just sort it out between yourselves’ lately. Luckily they don’t have weapons or it definitely would be a fight to the death.

It amazes me that once they are freshly bathed and tucked up in bed I miss them. Im almost looking forward to the next day and what fresh hell awaits. Why do we do it to ourselves!

Cara

 

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14 Comments

  1. Stacy
    January 25, 2017 / 7:41 pm

    This is it to a tee, my life right there!! BUT oh my god I miss them when they aren’t with me or when they sleep. Love this post ❤️

  2. January 25, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    Leni currently screams until Isla gives up a toy only for her to throw it on the floor and say “no that’s Islas yuck” so Isla takes the toy back and the whole thing starts again!

    But then I missed then so much at work last week I pretended I was feeling really ill so I could get a train home 30 minutes early to see them!

    • Cara
      January 25, 2017 / 7:48 pm

      They have a hold over us thats for sure!

  3. Cara
    January 25, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    Thank you, mine just seem to be pushing my buttons at the moment! Wouldn’t change them for the world though!

  4. ashley
    January 25, 2017 / 8:29 pm

    Im glad somone else has problems like me my wee boy moans at everythin shouting “i cant hear” and “stop it” ggrrrrr he annoys me lol, but i supose i would b lost without them. X

  5. Amanda
    January 25, 2017 / 8:31 pm

    Sorry to say, but it doesn’t get easier as they get older. Mine are 14 and 11 and act like they are going through the terrible twos. I have threatened to get a job, but they have seen right through that phrase!! Good luck, you still have years of shite

    • Cara
      January 25, 2017 / 8:32 pm

      Oh god! 😫

  6. January 25, 2017 / 8:42 pm

    100 percent my life 🙂

  7. Jemma H
    January 25, 2017 / 8:49 pm

    Love this post Cara. After a crappy day of what feels like non stop ‘parenting fails’ today in my house this was so refreshing and great to read. I enjoy all your posts but this one really summed up how I am feeling today. Bedtime couldn’t come quick enough today and I even adjusted the clock to get them into their beds quicker but funnily enough I have been up to check on them already this eve as I missed their little faces. They look so angelic when they are asleep!!! Xx

  8. Jen Appleton
    January 25, 2017 / 8:54 pm

    Full on laughed out loud at this, to the point where I had to read it to my husband as he wanted to know what had tickled me so much. Our son is 12 months, so I guess I have all this to look forward to..!

  9. Marie
    January 25, 2017 / 8:59 pm

    This is too funny to read and very real 🙂 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  10. Niki
    January 25, 2017 / 9:04 pm

    Mine are 15, 13 and 10 .. they bicker (about absolute rubbish) .. they constantly shout over each. the boys (13 and 10) fight like CRAZY when we are out .. Tescos / cafes / random shops / dentist / even just the high street .. they’re like tiger cubs … they NEVER go to bed when I ask the first 7 times (I always end up sounding like some old fish wife!) BUT … bloody hell I love them .. Its just me and them … & I would’t change it ..

  11. Jacqui Jones
    January 25, 2017 / 10:58 pm

    Such a great read Cara. I have 2 older brothers with only a year between them. My mum said when they were little she once resorted to tying them back to back just so she could have a wee, so they didn’t harm each other. They are great pals now though 😊

  12. Laura Bell
    February 1, 2017 / 11:08 am

    I could have written this Cara, it made me chuckle out loud (while sitting in the hairdressers, how embarrassing!). Utterly brilliant….keep them coming xx

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