A Little of Whats On My Mind.

A Little of Whats On My Mind.

With 2016 coming to a close I, albeit rather indulgently, thought it might be nice to do some explaining and ranting. The idea being that I can enter 2017 positively.

This Christmas break has been a challenging one for me. Too much sugar and time to think has only aided the self doubt. So when I set myself the goal of making blogging a career I knew that it would be a rocky road. (Cheeky pun there) When being yourself becomes your job where does that leave you. How do you have a day off? How will your appraisals go; Personality needs improvement but hit all targets for good shoes seems likely.

It inevitably changes you. I find I am being even tougher on myself. How do people perceive me? Do people like me? (answers on a postcard). How do you keep strong in being yourself when there will always be people running you down.


Coat Newlook (out of stock) Jeans Topshop Boots Jessica Buurman

It has been my experience that people have often laughed at me for using Instagram too much and Ive been the subject of numerous eye rolls over taking too many photographs. What I do is very public. Strangers come up to me and ask if my son is feeling better now or where did I buy my hat in my latest Instagram picture. It feels surreal but so comforting to know that people are kind enough to be interested in what I do. Especially as I am very much the girl next door, living very similar lives to everybody else.

I often get asked about how I started blogging or how I gained Instagram followers. Firstly let me say No I didn’t buy my followers. The answer is I have just been myself. Which hasn’t always gone down well for me, because without time to get to know me I am easily misunderstood and generally piss people off. I think I have a naivety. I am not here to be controversial, I’m not here to change the perception of mothers. In my early days of blogging I got a lot of people writing to me thanking me for admitting that some days of being a mother is awful and that actually its okay to say, no I haven’t enjoyed repeatedly acting like I couldn’t find my toddler ,who has covered only their head in a game of hide and seek. Also on the flip side I have had people write to me telling me I should be ashamed of myself for writing these things and what will my children think of me when they are older. I’m not going to lie there have been times where I have felt very low and wanted to delete all my social media. Times when I’ve wanted to speak my mind but bit my lip.

I don’t often get angry but when I annoy people because I moan about things that ultimately I should be grateful for, it drives me mad. I think this is ridiculous. Do these people think you can’t moan about having flu because there is someone out there with cancer? Our own struggles shouldn’t be crushed by these ‘perspective chasers’ because thats when people keep demons in their head telling themselves they have no right to be upset and as a result never deal with their problems.

I am actually more likely to moan about the shade of grey in my living room not being right rather than my biological father not wanting anything to do with me. I have had a fairly tough upbringing, its not something I would blog about because it isn’t fair to talk about other people publicly. Yet sometimes I sit with gritted teeth when I’m labelled ‘a princess.’

So why do it? Why put yourself out there?

I am trying to become better at self acceptance. This is something I want to do and I have to accept other people opinions even if they are not constructive because that is life. I have always had a suck it and see mentality. So I’m here giving it a go. I have days when I do wonder if putting the boys on social media is acceptable. Less so because of the dangers and more so because they aren’t old enough to give me an informed decision about whether this is something they want. For now I am ok with it because the boys are happy and secure.

So no more moaning. positivity from here on in and a new Mantra to clear the negative people from my life. Hello 2017 I like your style.

Cara x

 

 

Follow:

11 Comments

  1. December 27, 2016 / 10:17 pm

    This is a great post Cara. I think the only thing nobody can ever take away from you is the strength to be yourself in spite of people’s opinions. I always remember when you said Si said you weren’t princess Di and it made me laugh. I hung onto that with my own stuff and thought fuck it, people will like me and people won’t and it’s not my problem. I hope you can have more confidence in yourself as the year goes on as your motherhood posts genuinely makes me laugh out loud a lot of the time and there are not many people I followed who make me do that. Your kids will love seeing all those memories in years to come and see that even on the days they pissed you off, your world revolved around them and they were your world. Now crack open a rocky road and get the kettle on. No more diets! You don’t need to haha

    • December 27, 2016 / 10:18 pm

      Thank you so much Kelly! 😘

      • December 27, 2016 / 10:41 pm

        As long as all you do is with kindness and good intention it really doesn’t matter what other people think. Your always tongue in cheek. Fuck the negative brigade 🖕 😂

  2. December 27, 2016 / 10:46 pm

    Cara, your instagram pics and stories are the highlight of my day. You’re my top ‘search’ person…above my sister. You make me laugh and you are very relatable. Well done chicca! It’s not all perfect, motherhood is bloody hard and I love that you portray that xxx Happy new year!

    • December 27, 2016 / 10:46 pm

      Thank you!

  3. December 28, 2016 / 2:03 am

    Cara, as a 48 mum of three (all of whom are taller than me now!) I see so much of the younger me in your description of yourself. So much so, I wish blogging had been around then so I’d known I wasn’t alone! You don’t need me to tell you you’re doing brilliantly but don’t commit to absolutely zero moaning in 2017 because you need an outlet and, very selfishly, we all find it very entertaining! (Those who don’t can do one). Hxx

  4. Emma wood
    December 28, 2016 / 7:31 pm

    Hi cara
    Next to my friends, your insta feed is the one I enjoy the most. I find you very relatable and at a similar stage in life to me with two kids. I hope 2017 is brilliant for your blogging career and please don’t feel you can moan as “keeping it real” is what I enjoy the most about your posts! That said, I love the style and interiors stuff too….keep going as you are I say! X

  5. Emma Howell
    December 29, 2016 / 9:41 am

    I like this post. I like your blog and your Instagram pics are beautiful. I am, however, annoyed that your coat is out of stock. x

  6. Katie
    December 29, 2016 / 5:58 pm

    Cara, I’m a huge fan – wishing you all the luck for 2017!

    Katie xx

  7. December 30, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    Good luck for 2017 – you have already had an amazing 2016! Keep doing what you do, don’t overthink it too much because you’re doing great! 🙂 xx

  8. January 4, 2017 / 8:58 pm

    I love your honesty in this post. I’m sure you’ll be a huge success in whatever you do, Cara. xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *