I still feel shy about calling myself a blogger. I still feel overwhelmed when people say they read and actually like my blog. I am up to my eyes in self doubt and I feel like I am running to just to stand still.
Seems like the perfect mindset to quit my job and put all my eggs in one basket then.
I have been working nights shifts with the elderly on and off for the last five years. After my maternity leave with Harbor it seemed impossible to return to the unforgiving hours of retail management. I didn’t really have any choice but to work nights and then struggle to stay awake the next day with a baby.
We didn’t really do this because we were struggling financially it was more that we were ambitious. We wanted to get onto the property ladder and to move up it as fast as possible.
It’s difficult once you get in that mindset to change how you feel. I will always be browsing rightmove for the next project however I am trying to stay put a little longer in this house.
With that in mind and with it getting to the point where I was miserable two days before my shift. The dread of the tiredness, not feeling like the role was rewarding anymore and missing out on watching my boys at football practice meant that I took the plunge and handed my notice in on Friday.
I want to focus on the possibility of having a career again and more importantly one that fits around having my children. Infact based on having them. Oh I do like to moan about the trials of parenthood.
I haven’t been spontaneous since having my children. I was always reckless and determined but having children has made me cautious, reserved and even introverted. I’ve spoke before about how I struggled to ‘fit in’ with other mothers which is still the case mostly. I have learnt to just be myself and with that in mind I am going to give blogging a proper go.
So I’m standing here with all my metaphorical eggs in my basket, feeling relieved, extremely nervous but mostly like a child on Christmas Day. I am finally doing something for me, let’s hope I don’t mess it up!