Boy O Boy

I don’t know how you feel about fate but for me since having children I whole heatedly believe in it. Firstly let me start by saying I never wanted children. I didn’t not want them but I definitely didn’t dream about the day that they arrived and stole my sleep.

The day I found out I was pregnant was when I started to fantasise about having my beautiful baby girl. With her leopard print converse and pink tutu she would get all the ahhs and oohs.

Instead I didn’t have a baby girl I had two very stereotypical boys. My days are full of all the tractors and mud that you can possibly cram into 24hrs. If you had asked me back then how life would be with a house full of willys (even my two dogs are male) then I would have shuddered like the time I gave up caffeine for a week.

Yes everyone loves their children no matter who they are and even though that goes without saying I still thought I should say it.

I struggled with the fact my second pregnancy was also a boy. I knew I wouldnt ever have the girl I dreamt of. In all honesty from time to time I still cry but those days are getting less and less. Do you know why? Because I’m absolutely loving having boys. I love that I watch them play football in the fresh air rather than pretending to enjoy a ballet class.

I love that we roar like dinosaurs and drive toy cars through the mud (the mud where my flowers once were before my basset hound got involved)

I think that having boys is absolutely perfect for me and my personality. So despite what I thought was right, actually fate saw to it that I got my two boyish boys and that is perfect.

I think that lots of people feel disappointed about what gender baby they have but they don’t voice it because it seems ungrateful or disrespectful to those who can’t have children at all. Having been that person who really struggled then I’d love for people to take it seriously.

Gender disappointment is a real thing. It’s important to try and understand why you feel upset and not feel embarrassed that you are. I spent hours googling how to cope with my emotions and the advice just doesn’t seem to be out there. Luckily for me time was a great healer. It’s funny because now if I was to have a third child I don’t think I would actually want a girl!

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2 Comments

  1. Deborah
    October 13, 2016 / 11:17 am

    Love this post. It took me 5 years to get pregnant and even after all of that heartache I still secretly wanted a boy. I think it’s refreshing to talk about this topic as I think lots of people struggle with voicing that they want a particular gender. My bestie was desperate for a girl and has got 2 lads. They are now 15 and 18. After the initial disappointment all she ever says to me is that boys have been perfect for her and this is genuinely true. I had one of each and my youngest being a girl has been spoilt rotten as my friend has purchased all the tutus, sparkly shoes etc as its a novelty from buying a Real Madrid footy strip or dinosaur outfits. By the way your boys are real cuties xx

  2. Redheadhealth
    October 21, 2016 / 9:57 pm

    Hello –
    When I was pregnant with my son I stood in a changing room in tears watching a mother help her teenage daughter buy some new clothes. Gender disappointment is real.
    I still have the odd moment when I tenderly stroke a friends daughters plait or listen wistfully when they talk about Claire’s accessories, shopping together and afternoon tea but my son is super cool, no hassle, no girlie strops and is a joy to be with.
    We do those things together and of course other great things – minus Claire’s accessories – and it is ENOUGH.
    Cara btw – loved the outfit post xxx

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