All children say the nuttiest things. Much to their parents amusement or more often than not embarrassment and my two are no different! I have one child with a wicked imagination and the other who seems to have some sort of encyclopaedia in his brain full of facts that neither you nor google can disprove. When they get talking they come up with all kinds of explanations for things. I’m pretty sure these little snippets are one of my favourite perks about being their mummy. Watching how their brain works and seeing such innocence and quite often stupidity.
Let me start with a confession. Rightly or wrongly I have never told Harbor, my eldest, that I don’t have a willy. In all honesty the reason for this is because I don’t know what word I would feel comfortable with him using to talk about my lady bits. Also I want to limit talk about that subject as much as possible.
So when Harbor was helping me put the shopping away, with his face buried in carrier bag, he shouted ‘Where shall I put your willy plasters mummy?’ I was stumped. What the bloody hell are willy plasters? Pulling the jumbo pack of sanitary towels out of the bag and staring at them saying ‘why do you need so many mummy?’ I was almost floored with laughter. I guess this would have been the perfect opportunity to talk about girls being different to boys but I just pointed to the bathroom and said ‘willy plasters by the bubble bath sweetie’ Harbor 1 – Mummy 0.
One of the more cringeworthy things that Harbor has said happened a little while ago. You see I encourage my boys to be naked. I guess it’s because I know that it won’t be long until they will become self conscious like the rest of us. So summer play in the garden is often bottoms out time and also just after a bath. The boys had headed to their bedrooms ready to get into their pyjamas and settle for a story when Harbor sheepishly came and found me. ‘Sonny just put his finger up my bum.’ I immediately rang my husband. What do I say to that! I really hate that we have to have chats with our children about people being inappropriate. Harbor and I had had this conversation already and that’s why he shyly came and told me. However Sonny is two! Just like a lot of two year olds the more emphasis I put on ‘you mustn’t do that’ the more likely it is he’ll do it. I just went with ‘eurgh that’s dirty’ and hoped it was a one time offence. So far so good.
My final favourite has to be ‘Can girls marry girls? Can boys marry boys? Can grandads marry grandads?’ This was a challenge to answer! (I answered yes to the same sex question) But can grandads marry grandads? I turned to google which just took me to some elderly dating page. So in the end I went with my gut. I guess they’re not related so why not!
I can’t wait for the next instalment of statements. I have a little book that I note them down in. These little comments will warm my heart just as much as photos when they are all grown up aswell as working as suitable blackmail!