Instamum

Instamum

I wrote this post for another blog and it caused all kinds of reactions. Here it is for my blog.

I am a mum and I am addicted to Instagram. I always have a spotless house with fresh flowers and a funny story to tell. I am what is known as an instamum.
Why am I so blissfully happy to live my life through social media?

Well I thought you’d never ask.
For me, being a very unmumsy mum left me isolated. I didn’t fit in at parent and child groups, my head is too small for the ‘mum bun’ and I’m not great with other people’s children. In fact I feel like I’m giving children the come on when I’m all ‘aren’t you adorable, do you play here often? Maybe you can come and play at my house’ My social awkwardness extends to all ages.
So while isolated and sat at home I started my Instagram. I started to see that not all mums knew what they were doing. Not all mums wanted to just talk about bottle or breast and which is best. Some mums still wanted to drink prosecco and talk about how fit Pete from Towie is. I found mums that I admired, ones that I related to and started to build virtual friendships.
My youngest son Sonny likes to poo in the bath. (He also takes the time to poo in garden too but at least that can be blamed on the dog) I was mortified. How do you scrape soggy poo out of a roll top? I was too posh to push and now I feel like this is some divine payback. I shared this story through my Instagram only to find out that children are poo fanatics and the bath tub was actually not original. I think there is something special about finding other mums with children who shit in the bath. It’s a niche friendship requirement but a requirement nonetheless.
Slowly I made such great connections that these people became real life friends. I feel very smug sitting here saying I’ve made amazing mum friends without attending the dreaded playgroups.
The other reality of being an instamum is that your standards have to be high. I love to clean and be in a clean environment however the pressure is real. Never before have I had such motivation for the perfect crease in my cushions and a candle lit at all times. This might sound like your idea of hell. For me it means I cant spiral into the no make up and joggers mum that is so desperate to get out. I have to be the person I aspire to be and that pretty empowering. So for me that’s why being an insta mum is so fantastic. That and the excuse for fresh flowers in every room.

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7 Comments

  1. September 16, 2016 / 11:29 pm

    Fresh flowers = so good. I think it’s great that there are tons of online spaces now for us mums to find each other (I’m not a baby group fan either.)

  2. Olivia
    September 18, 2016 / 6:19 pm

    I’m not a mum, but me and my boyfriend of 7 years just bought our first home together and i have been following your instagram and blog since the beginning of this year! and i can relate to you so much! i absolutely love reading your blog posts and your instagram, i could not understand at all the reactions you got on this post previously!? i can only imagine that they were bored saddos sat at home with no real life and were purely jealous!! you’re so funny, i often sit laughing at your posts (i think my boyfriend thinks i’m crazy) i was always completely petrified of the thought of having kids, but since following you on social media, it doesn’t seem so scary! thanks for being hilarious and a great read 🙂

  3. Rachel
    September 19, 2016 / 6:22 pm

    Thank-you so much for this! I don’t have kids but feel so anxious that I only like my god-daughters (and even then it’s a relief to give them back)! It’s nice to know that you don’t have to change you when you’ve got a small human hanging off your hip. You can still be yourself and not only the person society expects you to change into.

  4. Lexiloola
    September 21, 2016 / 4:21 pm

    I saw the comments on the other blog post and I’m sorry that so many other mums were riled. I find that when someone has that kind of reaction to someone’s attitude to parenting it’s always more to do with them and their internal struggles/disappointments. I drowned in my first year of motherhood and totally lost myself – I never thought I’d feel normal again. This time round (baby 2 due in the New Year) I’m going to try very hard to keep hold of the things that make me happy and therefore make me feel like ME. That includes a lovely clean, gorgeous smelling home, nicer clothes than the god awful tracksuits and slouchy jumpers I lived in last time, and yes this time I bloody well will go and get my hair done!
    And anyway, why on earth should we all fit into the same mould? The world would be a boring place and Instagram would have less gorgeous pics without your contributions. Keep it up and keep being yourself X

    • September 21, 2016 / 4:25 pm

      Thank you! I won’t change I’m too old for that 😝

  5. May 10, 2017 / 6:24 am

    Why am I only reading this now… I LOVE it !!!

  6. Grace
    June 6, 2017 / 6:44 pm

    I don’t really understand why another mother would take offence to this post? its just an honest account of how you feel and I’m exactly the same with ig. I think I’d be sat in a dark room for most of my day screaming into a pillow if I didn’t have the people on ig to talk about the horrendous things my kids have put me through that day. Why do some mothers think they have some self righteous right to judge other mums on what their doing. I didn’t see the other post or the comments but just know they must be very board in their lives to get offended by this xxx

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