Hello! My name is Cara and I have two small boys. Well one is smaller than the other but only in size definitely not in personality.
‘You never have two the same!’ That’s what everyone told me when I was pregnant with my second. What a ridiculous statement. Obviously no two people are the same. Que eye rolling and my standard smug face.
You see Harbor, who is now 5, is probably as close to a model child as you can get. He even has the perfectly neat blonde hair and raised shoulder smile that melts hearts. He loves structure and to be told that he is being good and doing well. He tells me I look beautiful when I get ready in the morning and he loads the dishwasher after dinner (amongst other jobs) I literally thought I’d fucking nailed parenthood. What was all the fuss about?
Introducing Sonny Hart (2years) he has wild curly hair and the most wicked personality to match. Since he has been around I have been in a constant state of high alert, ready to catch that flying object before it smashes a vase and ready to distract the crowds when he lies on the floor in tesco declaring ‘you’re not my best friend’ because I’d refused to make a sandwich for his teddy.
They are very different and I feel lost somewhere in the middle as I don’t think you can parent them in the same way. Harbor is motivated by being good. Easy. Tell him the rules and tell him well done. Sonny, well I haven’t found his motivation. Consequence is very meh to him and we are still in negotiations over whether he is ever allowed child scissors again after I found them in his nappy (like the true gangster drug lord I fully expect he’ll grow up to be)
It often makes me wonder if the second child is always the naughtier one and why that is. I’d love to know what happens when you add a third to the mix, sadly daddy Suthers tells me to think again when I dim the lights and whisper ‘shall we have a third?’ In fact if I even touch the dimmer he is there with ‘don’t be a knob head’ (he’ll come around to it)
Although they are completely different and I’m sure it would have been so much easier if they were both like my first, it absolutely works. I find my days are full of so much laughter because I literally can’t predict what will happen next and it has taught Harbor that it’s ok to be silly and actually to sometimes be naughty. Because hey, no one likes a goodie two shoes do they.