I’m very shyly putting pen to paper here (or thumb to touchscreen) because I believe that how many children and when people have them seems like something that sparks an opinion.
Si and I got pregnant about three months after we started seeing each other, unfortunately this ended in a miscarriage and although yes very tragic it definitely meant our story hasn’t been traditional and therefore some of what I’m talking about now hasn’t been what we personally have experienced.
What I have seen from friends who did things ‘the proper way’ is the second they’d walked up the aisle and changed their name on their bank card people started sliding over with ‘so it’ll be a baby soon then?’
To me this is the rudest thing in the world. Coaching peoples choices, voicing your expectations of how they should live their life. But I totally do it. I’m pushy with it too. An example of this is my friend Jessica who I send pictures to when Sonny shits in the bath telling her she needs to have a child, why should I endure this and she gets away with it. I don’t need to send the abuse anymore as she has a French bulldog now that pretty much shits everywhere so I guess we are even.
I have two boys. Sonny is two and a half which means the red light has come on and people know it’s time to ask the question.
Will you have another?
I always say no. That seems like the answer that is easier to go back on than the other way around. I feel funny about three. I don’t feel like I’m adult enough to ever make that decision. I even spent some time googling if I should. If you haven’t done this I’ll save you some time, in short everyone said that three is terrible as it means there are more children than adults and the only safe way to rectify the situation is to have four. FOUR. I already look like a shark victim from my C-sections god knows what would be left of me after four.
I have spoke before about the gender disappointment I went through while pregnant with Sonny and I’m genuinely over that now. So I wouldn’t be having a third so I could have a girl.
I also feel like three children is greedy. We have been so lucky having two healthy children would we be tempting fate that the next wouldn’t be healthy. Along with my two horrendous births (where at one point the doctor talked about the possibility of a hysterectomy) would I be being stupid and risking my own health.
In all honesty I’m sat on the fence with it. When someone I know has a third and reports back honestly, that’s when, and only then, that I’ll be able to make a decision. Which I guess will also mean a new marriage as Si says over his dead body. (Every cloud)